Satisfy your chocolate craving!

So yummy and a great way to satisfy that sweet tooth without completely  sabotaging yourself. Give it a try:

6oz Plain Non Fat Yogurt
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
2 packets of Truvia or Stevia

Mix it all up and enjoy. You could even put it in the freezer for a little bit and eat it like frozen yogurt!

Why is this important?

I know I've already posted once today but this has been something I have wanted to post since the beginning. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why am I making the decision to get healthy? Why is it different this time? Why is it important to me to eat as organic and clean as possible and cut the sweeteners and crap out of my diet? Before I was even pregnant I always knew that I wanted to (and needed to) lose weight so that I could have a better chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy. We weren't not trying when I found out I was pregnant but it was still a bit of a shock to me because we hadn't been trying for awhile, and weren't getting any results. So I was probably right at about 280 lbs when I got pregnant. Luckily, I only gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy. And that wasn't because I was starving myself or anything like that I just knew I was already overweight and there was no need for me to just let myself go and gain 40+ lbs. And so we had a healthy 8 lb 20 inch little boy. I dropped the baby weight pretty quickly, that was in combination I think of stress and also because I was in the hospital because of a kidney infection when he was about 2 weeks old. Then I ended up gaining it back plus some. Here we are 17 months later and I've lost about 11 lbs of that and am currently at 284 lbs. Yep I just put my current weight out there. Yikes. Oh well. It is what it is, I can't deny it or hide it anymore. So since James starting eating solids I've been pretty set on having him eat organic, or as much organic as possible. I made his baby food myself by pureeing organic fruits and veggies and supplementing that with organic oatmeal. When I wasn't able to make it myself due to time constraint or whatever I would only buy organic. Once he started eating table food I also tried to make sure he ate as healthy as possible and getting in all of the food groups. Which is hard with a toddler, and somewhat frustrating because you prep this "healthy" meal and it ends up mostly on the floor. But what can ya do? He loves fruit, some veggies, but those are harder to get him to eat. But I found myself making sure he was eating organic and healthy, while I'd stop and get fast food for myself, or make something different for myself that was not healthy and full of empty calories. So I decided that I didn't want to be a hypocrite. Obviously he's still young enough to not know the difference but I want to lead by example. I want to show him how to live a healthy lifestyle not just tell him to. I don't need to be a super model, but I do need to be comfortable in my own skin, so that I can run around outside and play rather than park my fat ass in a lawn chair and watch him play. I want to be able to be OK to get into a swimsuit and get in the pool with him and run in the sprinklers. I do not want to watch his life from the sidelines I want to take an active part in it. I also need to be healthier and happier with myself so that I can have a better relationship with my husband- his daddy. I don't want him to see me pushing daddy away and not be affectionate. Kids love seeing their parents love each other. I want to set that example for him too. So that is why I am doing this, and that is why I think this time it is going to stick. Because I am doing my son and husband a disservice by being overweight, unhappy, and miserable. It is preventing me from being the best mom and wife I can be and I need to get my shit together! Pardon the french, but it is what it is. No more excuses.

A little mommy time this week

So my husband and little guy are in Texas for 9 days visiting family. They left on Friday. It is super hard to be away from my little guy for that long especially with there being such a long distance in between us. I cried at the airport thinking of every possible scenario that could happen and that I'd never see him again. Maybe I should mention that I have always been a worrier but the anxiety level and "what if" situations that are constantly popping up in my head have multiplied since becoming a mommy. But so far it has actually been okay. I've got to Skype with him once and the family is great about posting pics on Facebook or texting them to me, which I so appreciate. Got to sleep in yesterday and just kinda chill and do my thing. Went to Zumba and came home, took a nice long shower, then took a 3 hour nap. So far today I have slept in, had some yummy breakfast and even did a workout DVD (The Extreme Makeover Bootcamp DVD, see prior post). I just did the beginner portion and am pretty sore. But I decided that with the boys being gone this week it would be a good time to really just focus on me, my healthy eating, and exercise. No distractions = no excuses right? Well that's what I'm hoping. Our anniversary is at the end of this month and I'm trying to really stay on track and focus. I mean obviously I won't be wearing anything cute in a month or be squeezing into a swimsuit or something, but just want to create those habits and get the junk out of my body so that I physically feel better. But seriously, it is HARD. Just every day having to constantly be thinking of what will I eat? How many calories is that? Does that have artificial sweeteners in it? Is it organic? How many calories did I just burn? Crap I need to drink more water...etc, etc, etc. I hope to get to a point to where I've got it down enough to where I don't have to track so much, but honestly it does help me a lot. I've been using MyFitnessPal consistently for 195 days (that's what it says whoo hoo!) and it does help. It is so easy to eat mindlessly and then after the fact realize that you just ruined your whole day with one stupid mistake. But, each day is a new day and an opportunity to start fresh. I have been trying to remind myself of that.

Having one of those days

Lots going on today and having one of THOSE days. Kicking myself for letting myself get so big. Feeling super discouraged. And its really my own fault, I know that. It's just been so hard to get this weight off. The boys will be visiting family in Texas this next week so I'm planning on really focusing on my diet and exercise since I'll have 9 days that I can really focus on myself with no distractions!

Boot Camp DVD

I've been watching Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition since season 1 and it's one of my favorite shows. I like it because it shows each persons journey over a whole year rather than just a few weeks like Biggest Loser (but I love watching that too). I've considered writing to Chris Powell to ask him to take me on as a client and maybe I will some day. But until then, I've got his boot camp DVD. Just ordered it tonight and can't wait to try it out!

PB2 is AWESOME!

I came across this stuff called PB2 online, it's powdered peanut butter, you just add water. Thought that was super weird and had never heard of it. Recently a gal at Zumba said she tried it and that it actually was good and that she found it at Fred Meyer. Last time I went they were all sold out. I finally found some last night! The only flavor they had was chocolate peanut butter but I tried it last night...Soooooooo good! It's great, only 45 calories vs. the 190 calories or so regular peanut butter has and it's because they cut out most of the oils and fat!

Zucchini Noodles

I love zuchinni....I love pasta. I'd been wanting to try using zuchinni as a pasta replacement for some time now and finally did about a week or so ago. And so glad I did! Very filling and so yummy, even the hubby and my little guy approved! Can't wait to try it with alfredo sauce!