"Failing to plan is planning to fail"

This last week has been CRAZY! I literally ate like crap all week long and missed the last 3 Zumba classes. And man, I felt it! I worked 13 hours of overtime this week and it's marching band season...which means hubby was busy with band camp for 2 different high schools all week long including one overnight (that was the night I had a mommy meltdown). On top of that add in an almost 18 month old who has started the terrible twos early. Like I said it was CRAZY. A perfect example of why it's so important to prep your food and plan a menu. If you don't, you end up eating fast food and making impulsive choices. Just like I did...all week long! James and I will be celebrating our 7 year wedding anniversary tomorrow by splurging and going to Red Lobster for lunch before heading to Cave B Inn for the night. But next week I plan to be back on track!

Soda Alternative

I haven't drank any soda in at least 6 months. I'm really not tempted but every once in awhile I crave something bubbly. I found some drinks called Cascade Ice. They have lots of different flavors and are sweetened with sucralose not aspartame and are sugar free, fat free, gluten free, and sodium free. I try to avoid all artificial sweeteners but sucralose is one I will do in moderation. The only thing about the drinks is that they have different color dyes in them but I figured as often as I'd drink them, it'd still be a better choice over soda when I get those cravings for bubbly carbonation!

Just the other day I found some Cascade Ice in the organic section at Fred Meyer. The organic versions don't have anything in them no color dyes or anything. I've only tried one flavor so far and it's ok definitely more of a sparkling water than soda but still a better choice for when that craving hits.

Water with fruit in it to flavor it is still my favorite but wanted to share!

Protein Pancake

This is a recipe I have had for awhile but completely forgot about it! My friend Danielle introduced it to me. It's super easy and fast! The consistency is more like a crepe than a pancake but it's very filling. You could pair it with some fruit or yogurt and be totally satisfied.

Protein Pancake (makes 1 pancake)

- Coconut oil spray

- 1/2 cup egg whites 

- 1/2 cup old fashioned oats

- 1 tbsp chia seeds

- Sprinkle cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice to taste

- 2 packets Truvia or Stevia

- Syrup

Blend ingredients in your magic bullet or blender and then pour into a frying pan (spray the coconut oil spray onto the pan first). Cook until golden brown on both sides. Serve with syrup of your choice. I use Trader Joe's Short Stack Pancake Syrup. It's higher on the calorie side but doesn't have high fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners in it. I only use half a serving. 

* THE NUTRITION INFO BELOW DOES NOT INCLUDE SYRUP, IT IS FOR 1 PANCAKE ONLY

Satisfy your chocolate craving!

So yummy and a great way to satisfy that sweet tooth without completely  sabotaging yourself. Give it a try:

6oz Plain Non Fat Yogurt
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
2 packets of Truvia or Stevia

Mix it all up and enjoy. You could even put it in the freezer for a little bit and eat it like frozen yogurt!

Why is this important?

I know I've already posted once today but this has been something I have wanted to post since the beginning. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why am I making the decision to get healthy? Why is it different this time? Why is it important to me to eat as organic and clean as possible and cut the sweeteners and crap out of my diet? Before I was even pregnant I always knew that I wanted to (and needed to) lose weight so that I could have a better chance of getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy. We weren't not trying when I found out I was pregnant but it was still a bit of a shock to me because we hadn't been trying for awhile, and weren't getting any results. So I was probably right at about 280 lbs when I got pregnant. Luckily, I only gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy. And that wasn't because I was starving myself or anything like that I just knew I was already overweight and there was no need for me to just let myself go and gain 40+ lbs. And so we had a healthy 8 lb 20 inch little boy. I dropped the baby weight pretty quickly, that was in combination I think of stress and also because I was in the hospital because of a kidney infection when he was about 2 weeks old. Then I ended up gaining it back plus some. Here we are 17 months later and I've lost about 11 lbs of that and am currently at 284 lbs. Yep I just put my current weight out there. Yikes. Oh well. It is what it is, I can't deny it or hide it anymore. So since James starting eating solids I've been pretty set on having him eat organic, or as much organic as possible. I made his baby food myself by pureeing organic fruits and veggies and supplementing that with organic oatmeal. When I wasn't able to make it myself due to time constraint or whatever I would only buy organic. Once he started eating table food I also tried to make sure he ate as healthy as possible and getting in all of the food groups. Which is hard with a toddler, and somewhat frustrating because you prep this "healthy" meal and it ends up mostly on the floor. But what can ya do? He loves fruit, some veggies, but those are harder to get him to eat. But I found myself making sure he was eating organic and healthy, while I'd stop and get fast food for myself, or make something different for myself that was not healthy and full of empty calories. So I decided that I didn't want to be a hypocrite. Obviously he's still young enough to not know the difference but I want to lead by example. I want to show him how to live a healthy lifestyle not just tell him to. I don't need to be a super model, but I do need to be comfortable in my own skin, so that I can run around outside and play rather than park my fat ass in a lawn chair and watch him play. I want to be able to be OK to get into a swimsuit and get in the pool with him and run in the sprinklers. I do not want to watch his life from the sidelines I want to take an active part in it. I also need to be healthier and happier with myself so that I can have a better relationship with my husband- his daddy. I don't want him to see me pushing daddy away and not be affectionate. Kids love seeing their parents love each other. I want to set that example for him too. So that is why I am doing this, and that is why I think this time it is going to stick. Because I am doing my son and husband a disservice by being overweight, unhappy, and miserable. It is preventing me from being the best mom and wife I can be and I need to get my shit together! Pardon the french, but it is what it is. No more excuses.

A little mommy time this week

So my husband and little guy are in Texas for 9 days visiting family. They left on Friday. It is super hard to be away from my little guy for that long especially with there being such a long distance in between us. I cried at the airport thinking of every possible scenario that could happen and that I'd never see him again. Maybe I should mention that I have always been a worrier but the anxiety level and "what if" situations that are constantly popping up in my head have multiplied since becoming a mommy. But so far it has actually been okay. I've got to Skype with him once and the family is great about posting pics on Facebook or texting them to me, which I so appreciate. Got to sleep in yesterday and just kinda chill and do my thing. Went to Zumba and came home, took a nice long shower, then took a 3 hour nap. So far today I have slept in, had some yummy breakfast and even did a workout DVD (The Extreme Makeover Bootcamp DVD, see prior post). I just did the beginner portion and am pretty sore. But I decided that with the boys being gone this week it would be a good time to really just focus on me, my healthy eating, and exercise. No distractions = no excuses right? Well that's what I'm hoping. Our anniversary is at the end of this month and I'm trying to really stay on track and focus. I mean obviously I won't be wearing anything cute in a month or be squeezing into a swimsuit or something, but just want to create those habits and get the junk out of my body so that I physically feel better. But seriously, it is HARD. Just every day having to constantly be thinking of what will I eat? How many calories is that? Does that have artificial sweeteners in it? Is it organic? How many calories did I just burn? Crap I need to drink more water...etc, etc, etc. I hope to get to a point to where I've got it down enough to where I don't have to track so much, but honestly it does help me a lot. I've been using MyFitnessPal consistently for 195 days (that's what it says whoo hoo!) and it does help. It is so easy to eat mindlessly and then after the fact realize that you just ruined your whole day with one stupid mistake. But, each day is a new day and an opportunity to start fresh. I have been trying to remind myself of that.

Having one of those days

Lots going on today and having one of THOSE days. Kicking myself for letting myself get so big. Feeling super discouraged. And its really my own fault, I know that. It's just been so hard to get this weight off. The boys will be visiting family in Texas this next week so I'm planning on really focusing on my diet and exercise since I'll have 9 days that I can really focus on myself with no distractions!